Marriage Counseling

The Couple That Hobby’s Together, Stays Together



Posted on Jul 23, 2017

  With the evolution of instant everything, couples can get so comfortable with each other that they forget how to communicate and be around each other. Sometimes, instead of remembering what brought them together, they will drift apart, forming separate lives while together. This drift can cause the relationship to end or give them a reason to find love again with each other. One powerful way to rekindle love can be through finding a hobby to partake in together. This can be as simple as reading books to as grand as traveling from state to state to visit different kinds of cupcake shops. As people, we often think that we must go big in order to see big change when in reality we need to K.I.S.S, keep it simple silly.

One way to work as a couple is to get back to basics and talk to each other. A tool that can be used is Gottman’s Marriage minute and using the” who Am I” exercise. Through this exercise, couples can start to remember what brought them together initially. Here are some sample questions to ask: What have you done recently to be proud of? What activities really engage you on a regular basis? What’s something important that has happened recently that i might have missed? What hobbies have you had in the past that we can do together? These are beginning questions to ask each other and it is encouraged to regularly check in with each other. Relationships are not built in a day or fixed in a day, which is why it is important to always keep the spark alive in as many ways as possible. Below are some examples of hobbies that can be done as a couple: Exercising Recreating your first date at different places Playing games (board games, videogames, card games) or having game nights. Building a collection Painting or other Art activities. Catching up on a television series. Once you start to build on your hobbies together, it will be hard to stop while also bringing fun back into the relationship. The key to any great relationship is consistency, transparency, communication and fun. Without one, a relationship can start to fall apart, but there are ways to fix it when the effort is there on both sides. By: Khadidrah Lloyd,...

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Make Marriage The Priority

Posted on Apr 29, 2017

I’m very proud to announce the completion of my training with Marriage on the Rock an receiving my certificate of completion for the course. I love what Pastor Jimmy Evans calls the Four Foundational Laws of Marriage. The first law is the Law of priority. PastorJimmy says that “God designed Marriage to Operate as Your #1 Priority, Except for God. It Won’t function in any other position. This could not be truer or better said. So many of the core issues I see are about prioritizing your relationship. I see couples who make every thing in their lives more important than their partner. It’s amazing what people come up with to not spend time or interact. In my many years in the counseling profession I’ve seen priorities take a dramatic change. With technology it’s now possible to work around the clock. With children being so over schedule it’s common for couples to barely see each other. With so much focus on the self it seems acceptable for people to do what makes me happy instead of making my partner or my marriage a priority. All of these things seem important, but if they become more important than your partner or your marriage they are useless temporary distractions. When your primary relationship suffers or fails, it can be life altering. According to Marriage on the Rock, four actions that prove our marriage is a priority are through sacrifice: giving something up, time, energy, and attitude, being interested, positive and affirming. If you can show your partner that they are a priority in these ways you’ll have a key ingredient to a healthy...

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Therapist Radio Show: Selecting a Therapist

Posted on Mar 20, 2017

Linda Miller deBerard-2 03 17 Therapist I’ve recently had the opportunity to do three radio shows and was interviewed by Muriel Donnelley at Empire broadcasting. In the first show, we talk about my evolution as a therapist. Including my belief that my practice is a ministry that brings me great blessings by seeing people have success in counseling. I also discuss how my faith helps me cope with difficult situations. Part of the conversation is about my early experience on a suicide crisis line and some of the things I do when I treat a suicidal client. I discuss why I integrate family members into the treatment of individuals and how this can be beneficial. I give tips to a caller about selecting a therapist and how my concierge service helps clients feel comfortable establishing a therapeutic relationship. I also discuss my belief that showing up for counseling even if your not sure the marriage can survive can often be beneficial because the worst that can happen is that a couple will learn healthy communication that will help with coparenting long term if the marriage does not survive....

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Radio Show Interview: Importance of Couples Therapy Training

Posted on Mar 6, 2017

Linda Miller deBerard- 1 20 17 Counseling In this interview with Michael David I discuss what makes me different as a counselor being my many years of experience. We discuss the importance of seeing a therapist with specialty training to work with couples and the reason it’s helpful to include your partner in treatment. We look at how a healthy relationship can bring you healing from childhood wounds. And we talk about how little training we get to help us become successful partners....

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Did You Mean to Hurt Me?

Posted on Aug 26, 2014

Did You Mean to Hurt Me?

A recent cartoon I read had a picture of a man and woman with the nervous looking man saying “If something I’ve said can be interpreted in two ways and one of those ways upsets you, I meant the other one”. In my work with couples, I frequently see someone hurt by their INTERPRETATION of something their partner said.  I’ve begun to ask the question “would it benefit your partner to say something hurtful to you?” Because I believe that smart people don’t intentionally cause conflict. If you keep that in mind the next time you are hurt by something your partner says it might help you not to react in anger or pain.  Instead try asking the question- Was it your INTENT to hurt me with that comment?  Allow your partner to explain their true intent.   You will come away learning more about one another and hopefully avoiding an...

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Putting God’s Love Into Your Marriage

Posted on Feb 7, 2014

Putting God’s Love Into Your Marriage

This is a great video that shows a couple in conflict. The message for Christian couples is a great one about making choices. I work with couples to teach them to “gift ” one another. A gift to your spouse is giving freely without expectations. As Christians we can also convoke ourselves that we are giving God what he wants by doing certain things. We then have expectations about what we deserve back. If we can get in touch with and appreciate the love God so freely gives us then learn to give that kind of love freely to our spouses, we will get closer to experiencing Gods love in our relationships. [youtube http://youtu.be/Fy2hFvbTHU4]...

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