A couple of weeks ago I had the honor of attending a Marriage on the Rock conference. Its based on the book Marriage on the Rock, Gods Design for your Dream Marriage. As a Christian counselor I’ve always know that God is the true healer and that marriages centered on God were healthier and more committed. As I heard Pastor Jimmy Evans talk about biblical principles of marriage I began to formulate even more strongly how God sees marriage.
Too often people expect their partners to be the source of their happiness and well being. The reality however is that people will fail you just because they are imperfect. The clients I see are often disappointed that their spouse does not ‘make them happy’ or ‘meet their needs’. I don’t know where we ever got the idea that someone else makings happy was the purpose of marriage. Perhaps thats from the fairy tales of ‘happily ever after’. The reality is Jer 17:5 “Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength…”
I’ve often told couples that our happiness can’t come from people, it has to come from with in us. Most importantly, true peace and joy can only come from the supernatural source of the Holy Spirit of Christ with in us. When we grasp this concept, we no longer expect our partner to be the source of our well being. I believe that when we have self esteem in Christ we have a foundation of joy, thats our cake. When we have a spouse to share our joys and burdens, thats the icing.
The first step in repairing your marriage is to stop expecting you spouse or any other person or earthly thing to be your source. Let your source come from your Heavenly father. Once you let Him be the source of your well being, He will fill you with the ability to love, forgive and minister to your spouse and they will be able to do the same for you. Your personal relationship with your source is one of the best gifts you can give your marriage.