You Can Be The Change In Your Relationship

We all have little things about our partner that may bother us or we want to change. You may be a bit more introverted and require more alone time while your partner is extroverted and enjoys having friends and family over all the time. You both are frustrated- waiting for each other to become more like the other person. Quick reality check, your partner will never become who you are, and it is not fair to have that expectation. What we can do as partners, is work together to find compromise.

Have you thought about making your own changes before expecting your partner to change?

Take the extroverted partner who likes to have friends and family over all the time. One day they wake up and realize, it is not fair to make my introverted partner  entertain and socialize all the time because that is not in their nature. They decide to talk to their partner before having friends over and compromise on having friends over a few times a week instead of almost every night as they did in the past. Additionally, the extroverted partner started to speak their introverted partner’s love language by spending quality time together, just the two of them- cooking dinner, relaxing and having a movie night at home. This experience opened the introverted partner up to enjoying one-on-one time with their partner, and when they did have friends over, they were aware friends were coming over, so they were better able to prepare and enjoy time with others.

Change starts with you:

If you want to see your relationship improve and better communicate with your partner, take a close look at what you are doing and how you can improve the relationship from your end. Does your partner say you tend to tell them things last minute and that makes them frustrated? If so, take more initiative by communicating dinner plans, work outings and so on with your partner when you find out.

Talk to a professional:

Sometimes in our relationships, we become too focused on the issue or what the other person is doing that we miss our part in the matter. If you and your partner are struggling to make improvements to the relationship, reach out for help. A couples counselor will be able to help you tune into what is going on and how to be more aware of how each partner can participate in making the change you desire to see in your relationship.

We can’t change our partners, but we can work together to improve relationship communication and intimacy. If something is bothering you about your relationship, think about how you can take steps to make a change.



Tags: couples therapy, therapy, self-development, counseling, relationship


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