Marriage Counseling

Keep Stress From Impacting Your Sex Life

Posted on Oct 13, 2017

We all know stress impacts our sleep, work, eating habits and so on. Did you know stress can also impact your sex life? It does! Stress can lead to unhealthy habits including excessive drinking and negative body image which can also decrease our sex drive. Don’t let stress get in the way of your sex life! De-stressing Tips: Leave work at work: It’s important to purposefully switch gears mentally to leave work at work when you clock out. In the age of technology, it is so easy to answer work emails during dinner or hanging out with friends. When you walk through the door at home, don’t think about your project deadline or an upcoming meeting you are dreading, as that will only stress you out more and take time away from spending with your loved ones. Unwind from the day: When you get home, have a daily routine that will help you unwind from the workday. An unwind routine may include preparing dinner with your partner, eating dinner together and taking an after dinner walk, or it could be as simple as a 20-minute meditation session. Whatever works for you, stick to it so your body and mind will become accustom to de-stressing when arriving home. Establish boundaries: For those of us who say yes to everything- extra work projects, PTA, and socializing with friends, it is essential to understand your limitations as saying yes to everything will continue to stress you out and take away time from your relationship. It is okay to say no. Schedule sex dates: If you and your partner are struggling to connect and have sex, schedule it. It may seem less romantic than spontaneous sex, but it will ultimately help you connect. Navigating relationships in a demanding world full of work, social media and email can be difficult. At the end of the day, it is essential to prioritize your relationship and continue to connect and build your relationship with your partner. Managing stress so it doesn’t affect your sex life is an important part of self care and relational...

Read More

Tips for supporting a partner with depression

Posted on Oct 8, 2017

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by an ongoing depressed mood in which an individual loses interest in activities that impact everyday life. Depression is a serious mental health condition. If your partner is experiencing depression, it important they seek medical and mental health services. Navigating a relationship with a partner that is depressed or going through a depressive episode is challenging, at the same time it is important to remember your partner is still the same person regardless of a diagnosis. Tips for supporting a partner with depression: Research and learn: If you have not experienced depression interpersonally, it may be hard for you to understand what your partner is going through. Take the time to research and read stories from others who have experienced depression; it will help you better understand what your partner is going through. The stories and research may also offer tips for supporting your loved one. Do something they enjoy: Schedule a date night that your partner would enjoy, go to the movies, out to dinner, or a museum. Taking them out of the day-to-day may help to lift their mood, even for just a few hours. Ask them how they want to be helped: Before a depressive episode sets in, it is important to talk about how you can help your partner. If you didn’t prepare in advance, talk to your partner about how you can help. Sometimes people want time alone with a book, or they may prefer spending time with other people, so they don’t feel alone. Take care of you: Caring for someone with depression can be challenging. To avoid burnout, make sure to schedule time for yourself. Going for a walk, calling a trusted friend, or visiting your favorite coffee shop can help you de-stress. Navigating challenges in a relationship is not easy. Just remember, you are not alone and if you need additional support for how to help your partner with depression, reach out and seek services from a mental health professional....

Read More

The Couple That Hobby’s Together, Stays Together

Posted on Jul 23, 2017

  With the evolution of instant everything, couples can get so comfortable with each other that they forget how to communicate and be around each other. Sometimes, instead of remembering what brought them together, they will drift apart, forming separate lives while together. This drift can cause the relationship to end or give them a reason to find love again with each other. One powerful way to rekindle love can be through finding a hobby to partake in together. This can be as simple as reading books to as grand as traveling from state to state to visit different kinds of cupcake shops. As people, we often think that we must go big in order to see big change when in reality we need to K.I.S.S, keep it simple silly.

One way to work as a couple is to get back to basics and talk to each other. A tool that can be used is Gottman’s Marriage minute and using the” who Am I” exercise. Through this exercise, couples can start to remember what brought them together initially. Here are some sample questions to ask: What have you done recently to be proud of? What activities really engage you on a regular basis? What’s something important that has happened recently that i might have missed? What hobbies have you had in the past that we can do together? These are beginning questions to ask each other and it is encouraged to regularly check in with each other. Relationships are not built in a day or fixed in a day, which is why it is important to always keep the spark alive in as many ways as possible. Below are some examples of hobbies that can be done as a couple: Exercising Recreating your first date at different places Playing games (board games, videogames, card games) or having game nights. Building a collection Painting or other Art activities. Catching up on a television series. Once you start to build on your hobbies together, it will be hard to stop while also bringing fun back into the relationship. The key to any great relationship is consistency, transparency, communication and fun. Without one, a relationship can start to fall apart, but there are ways to fix it when the effort is there on both sides. By: Khadidrah Lloyd,...

Read More

Make Marriage The Priority

Posted on Apr 29, 2017

I’m very proud to announce the completion of my training with Marriage on the Rock an receiving my certificate of completion for the course. I love what Pastor Jimmy Evans calls the Four Foundational Laws of Marriage. The first law is the Law of priority. PastorJimmy says that “God designed Marriage to Operate as Your #1 Priority, Except for God. It Won’t function in any other position. This could not be truer or better said. So many of the core issues I see are about prioritizing your relationship. I see couples who make every thing in their lives more important than their partner. It’s amazing what people come up with to not spend time or interact. In my many years in the counseling profession I’ve seen priorities take a dramatic change. With technology it’s now possible to work around the clock. With children being so over schedule it’s common for couples to barely see each other. With so much focus on the self it seems acceptable for people to do what makes me happy instead of making my partner or my marriage a priority. All of these things seem important, but if they become more important than your partner or your marriage they are useless temporary distractions. When your primary relationship suffers or fails, it can be life altering. According to Marriage on the Rock, four actions that prove our marriage is a priority are through sacrifice: giving something up, time, energy, and attitude, being interested, positive and affirming. If you can show your partner that they are a priority in these ways you’ll have a key ingredient to a healthy...

Read More

Therapist Radio Show: Selecting a Therapist

Posted on Mar 20, 2017

Linda Miller deBerard-2 03 17 Therapist I’ve recently had the opportunity to do three radio shows and was interviewed by Muriel Donnelley at Empire broadcasting. In the first show, we talk about my evolution as a therapist. Including my belief that my practice is a ministry that brings me great blessings by seeing people have success in counseling. I also discuss how my faith helps me cope with difficult situations. Part of the conversation is about my early experience on a suicide crisis line and some of the things I do when I treat a suicidal client. I discuss why I integrate family members into the treatment of individuals and how this can be beneficial. I give tips to a caller about selecting a therapist and how my concierge service helps clients feel comfortable establishing a therapeutic relationship. I also discuss my belief that showing up for counseling even if your not sure the marriage can survive can often be beneficial because the worst that can happen is that a couple will learn healthy communication that will help with coparenting long term if the marriage does not survive....

Read More

Radio Show Interview: Importance of Couples Therapy Training

Posted on Mar 6, 2017

Linda Miller deBerard- 1 20 17 Counseling In this interview with Michael David I discuss what makes me different as a counselor being my many years of experience. We discuss the importance of seeing a therapist with specialty training to work with couples and the reason it’s helpful to include your partner in treatment. We look at how a healthy relationship can bring you healing from childhood wounds. And we talk about how little training we get to help us become successful partners....

Read More