What is an Emotional Affair?

Emotional AffairI’m finding more and more that couples I see are struggling with emotional infidelity. They usually present in my office because either husband or wife are distressed by some ones friendship with a person of the opposite sex. Here are some common elements in an emotional affair:

  1. Sharing feelings and personal information about your family that your spouse would be unhappy about
  2. Spending time alone or on the phone that is designated to be spent with family,
  3. Having conversations that you don’t tell your spouse about.
  4. Not sharing the content of conversations you and your friend have with your spouse

Most importantly if you are in a friendship with the opposite sex that feels uncomfortable to your spouse you are on a very slippery slope. I have yet to talk to a person who said that they intended to cross the line and have a sexual affair. 99% of the couples I work with dealing with an affair say that their relationship began as a friendship. I’m not placing judgment. I am saying that if you are getting your needs for companionship met by someone with whom your spouse is not comfortable its time to have some serious conversations about what needs are being met in the friendship and how to get those needs met in the marriage.

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