The Grass is Greener Where You Water It

You and your partner disagree on something, maybe it is a recurring disagreement, and you feel your partner is not getting it. You feel your partner does not hear you and you’re so frustrated that you are starting to think your life would be better if you were single or with someone else.

Hit the brakes for a moment.

In times of  frustration and uneasiness we often feel like throwing our hands up and giving up.

At this moment, take a deep breath and pause before responding or saying something you will later regret.

Reframe your reaction.

Instead of giving in to knee-jerk reactions such as wanting to give up, think about the good instead of the negative. Think about the good times you and your partner share together. Think about the bonding memories you two have made together- your wedding, the birth of a child, college graduation, something that brings happy memories will help you recenter in the moment.

Make change.

If you are having a revolving disagreement or feel your partner is not understanding you, treat the situation as a way to learn and grow. Take time when both of you have cooled off and talk about how the disagreement made you feel, but remember never blame your partner as this will only add fuel to the fire.

If you and your partner are struggling to see eye to eye after trying to discuss among yourselves, it may be time to bring in a relationship/marriage counselor. A relationship/marriage counselor is a neutral party that will help you see things differently and offer coping and resolution tips for when disagreements come up in the future.

Relationships take communication, work, patience, love, and understanding. Take time to check in with your partner weekly to see how they are feeling.  Talk about what is working and not working in the relationship, and how you can be there to support one another. Without work, relationships dissolve. Remember, the grass is greener where you water it.

 

Related posts:

Expert Tip To Help Your Marriage: Picking Your Battles
The Gift I Receive From Being a Couples Counselor
Disagreements about Money aren’t about Money
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